


An Intreeguing Dream

by Rabentochter



Category: Don Cheadle is Captain Planet, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Broccoli, Crack, Crack and Angst, Drug Use, Involuntary turning, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Language, Loki (Marvel) Feels, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Odin (Marvel)'s Bad Parenting, Rhodey and Loki friendship, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-04 07:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17894417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rabentochter/pseuds/Rabentochter
Summary: Life as Captain Planet was difficult. Not only did he have to save Earth's environment, he also had to ensure one of his best friends stayed alive and set him up with the other. But Rhodey was determined to get Loki and Tony together and no confusing conversation would deter him from that.





	1. Broccoli Time

**Author's Note:**

> This was written to 2/3 during the sprint in the discord with the help of **NamelesslyNightlock** and **STARSdidathing**. You both are amazing at cheering and helping out when there is a question, so thank you ❤❤
> 
> Also, thanks to **buying_the_space_farm** for betaing this ❤❤ 
> 
> This was inspired by the videos of **"Don Cheadle is Captain Planet"** and ... yes. If you have the time, go and watch this mini-series, it's hilarious and I love it (obviously). Enjoy! :D

The last time he was here on earth, humanity had started to descend into the madness that was called “pollute earth as much as you can”. He hated it so much, turned so many people in trees for that, he had to leave the planet. 

 

He didn’t want to leave. He made a friend there who wasn’t scared of him. Or wanted him to turn everything into trees. Although he had to hide his blue skin for humanity wasn’t ready for that colour shock yet - so he went with brown. Not that ugly white. 

 

Tony Stark was an epiphany. Rhodey met him at MIT (Rhodey was drunk on too much apple juice when he had decided to sign up for this) and … so much pain, hate and self-loathing, all hidden beneath that snark. He pitied him. Until Stark had put a slice of pizza in his hands and told him to stop pitying him, he hated it and he should just be his friend and show him how to pummel a bully and then they were fine and the  _ best roommates forevoaaaaar _ . Quote directly from the mouth of Tony Stark. 

 

Tony was high at that time. High, melancholic and sad. 

 

Joints did him good. They made him smile and laugh, his eyes wrinkled a bit and in those moments he looked more like the teenager he was supposed to be.  

 

It was memories like that, that stayed his hand (and his groin) when Tony started to drive cars  _ excessively _ . 

 

Oh, how he wanted to turn that idiot into a tree. He was so tempted. But then he remembered that sad boy from MIT who built himself a robot so he had one friend, gave him pizza and - he found he couldn’t turn Tony into the tree he should  be. 

 

He was a weakling for that motherfucker. 

 

Especially when Tony became Iron Man and more importantly, stopped his weapon business and turned toward clean energy with his arc reactor ideas. Never before he was so proud. 

 

But the time came and he didn’t feel … good on earth anymore. He needed to leave. So many toxic things in the air, so many trees being cut down and so many fuckers, who didn’t give a fuck. 

 

He, Captain Planet, had to leave the planet. What an irony.  Most of the time he now had to fill he spent with one of his best friends, and that was Loki of Asgard. Loki was … chaotic, to say and lived up to his title “God of Mischief and Chaos” up to the fullest, enjoying his life. Being on Asgard with him always made Rhodey forget what he had fled - destruction, ruin and pollution. With Loki, he could turn others into trees and not be judged for it. 

 

In contrast, Loki even  _ encouraged _ him to do so. 

 

Rhodey didn’t mind turning asshats into trees, but he had a policy: no unnecessary turning if said person was all for protecting the environment and behaved accordingly. Aesir  _ sadly _ were environmentally friendly people. Gods were supposed to be a role model for others and they really were. Regarding the environment. But not if it was about friendship or treating another person like they were supposed to be. 

 

Loki cursed quite often or glared at him when he repeated and repeated that lesson. Rhodey understood, he knew to have bullies sucked, but he couldn’t act on a whim if it stood against his principles. Not even for Loki. Although he was tempted when he learned that Odin Allfather  had hidden Loki’s true heritage from Loki. And even had fed that poor boy with lies and hideous stories about his own race. 

 

Never before he was so tempted into turning this man into an infinitesimal dandelion. Motherfucker. He was Captain Planet, he was here on Asgard to relax and forget all about plastic and smog, he wasn’t here to solve problems. 

 

Loki got to be king for a few days, he  _ relaxed _ for real (golden apple juice nommie), strengthened his connection with Yggdrasil and all was well. 

 

Then Thor came back, that motherfucker ruined his holidays and then his hair started to tingle and Yggdrasil was in a state of frozen horror. So he had to get up and look at what was going on. 

 

He neither expected Loki to be dangling from the bridge nor seeing Odin awake. 

 

His hearing wasn’t the best but he could sense Loki’s desperation coming off in waves, hitting him and he  _ heard _ Odin’s “No, Loki.” Yggdrasil screamed, she  _ screamed _ at him to do something and then- 

 

Loki was falling and he froze. 

 

And Yggradsil howled, cried, tried to catch Loki, slowing his fall into the abyss. He got his muscles to move and “ _ Why only now?” _ Yggdrasil yelled angrily and he flew faster, trying his best to catch his friend. 

 

And Loki seemed to be so far away - was he really floating that long in the air? - and Yggdrasil became weaker and weaker in his mind, he needed to get Loki faster or they wouldn’t be able to return at all. He sped up, all that apple juice and relaxation should be good for something now. 

 

Loki didn’t see him coming. Loki fell with face forward in the abyss and he startled when Rhodey  _ finally _ got him and sped the fuck up. Back towards Yggdrasil. His tree did her best to help him getting back to her and roots grew he could orientate himself on, leading him to a place he knew they could rest and heal. 

 

There was no need to return to Asgard, they believed Loki to be dead or lost by now. He was pretty sure neither Odin nor Thor saw him flying after their renegade son. Motherfuckers. 

 

Maybe when Loki felt up to it they’d contact Frigga - she was a lovely valerian when she wanted to and she always made sure Rhodes felt appreciated on Asgard and was in overall a sunflower in their lives, taking care of Loki and teaching him magic. 

 

He laid his friend down very carefully on a bed, made sure to remove his armour and put a blanket over him. 

 

“So, you’re a Jotunn?” he asked him, knowing Loki couldn’t reply. This explained a lot of Loki’s actions in the last few days. If he was adopted and had felt like he needed to prove himself-

What a shithead. 

 

They loved him all, regardless of his heritage or skin colour. Odin certainly as well even if that man had problems with openly bestowing affection on his youngest son but Rhodey knew Odin loved his son regardless. He wouldn’t have taken him in otherwise. 

  
  


_ “You saved him, _ ” Yggdrasil said and he felt her relief. She seemed to have calmed down. 

“Where are we here?” he asked her taking in their new surroundings. They were in a treehouse, somewhere far off Asgard’s and he could see stars glistening in the night sky. 

 

_ “Somewhere safe,” _ she explained. 

 

He stared at Loki, his poor blue friend stuck in his paralysis, hopefully not having any bad dreams. But there was no thrashing around, no yelling or crying. Just a man, sleeping and hopefully, recovering. 

 

Assured that Loki slept safely he ventured outside. 

 

They really were somewhere in space. He didn’t know these stars. And there only was this big branch of Yggdrasil the house was built upon. It felt like home. Yggdrasil was there, comforting him and calming his wild thoughts down, assuring him he did his best and he  _ saved _ Tony after all.  

 

Loki was alright. Just sleeping. He’d wake up soon and they could talk. 

 

And turn people into trees. 

 

Motherfucker. 

  
~*~

 

Loki slept for a whole three days. It was enough time for Rhodey to realise Yggdrasil provided them with enough food and water, they had a functioning toilet and he didn’t want to know where all his shit landed. He hoped though it was on Odin’s dinner plate. Son of a bitch deserved that. 

 

And he thought Odin tried to be a good father for Loki? Ha! 

  
  


After the first day Loki had started crying and apologized  _ over and over _ for being such a hideous monster and he could do better if they’d just give him the opportunity to do so. He’d kill all their enemies. Heal every Jotunn if that’s what they were after. 

 

He offered under tears to jump again from the bridge or let himself be crushed by Mjölnir - he’d stand very still for that. 

 

Rhodey had seen red and got all purple and yelled out all of his frustration into the night sky, shot some tree turning lasters at some stars (no idea if they turned into trees, his lasers weren’t that good probably) and just … wanted his friend to wake up so he could offer him comfort. 

 

Yeah, shit on Odin’s plate sounded like a good idea. 

  
  


Yggdrasil fed some of her power into Loki so he could heal faster. But that was only the exhaustion she dealt with and some very obvious cuts Loki had received during his fight with Thor. Rhodey didn’t want to think about Loki’s mind and the state it was in. 

 

Hopefully wasn’t his mind like one of those circus trees. 

 

Tree. He needed to plant trees. It itched in his hands. Too much energy stored in them. But he couldn’t leave Loki alone. Loki needed him to put the blanket over him after he shook it off again. He had to be here in case Loki suddenly woke up - he couldn’t be alone then. Someone had to assure him he wasn’t alone and he was still  _ loved _ and  _ appreciated _ . And Rhodey had to tell him how glad he was he caught Loki before he was lost to him forever. 

 

But he couldn’t take care of Loki forever. He was needed somewhere else as well, and Tony. Tony needed him and he-

Oh. 

 

He could just set up Loki with Tony. Tony had a big house. He could host them surely for some time. Then he could have Tony to look after Loki and vice versa. They were so similar after all. Oh. He laughed quietly. His best friends really were similar to each other. Their father issues, their impulsivity, their dramatic flair- 

 

He should have realised what a great couple they’d be much earlier on.

 

And then he got rid of these two idiots (more or less) and didn’t have to worry about so much anymore. No more stupid suicide attempts. 

  
  


Loki awoke with sputtering, looking from the left to right, eyes wide and heaving and fell from the bed by the momentum. 

 

Not the gentlest awakening Rhodey ever witnessed. 

 

“Easy there, sapling,” he tried to calm his friend. Slowly he crouched down in front of Loki on the floor, touching his knee to ground him. “You are with me, Captain Planet. We are in a safehouse. There’s only you and me. We are not on Asgard.” Loki nodded, leant forward to rest his head on Rhodey’s shoulder. 

 

“You are not in the abyss,” Rhodey kept on talking in a low pitch and told Loki of the treehouse in detail. Rhodey talked about the wood, the smell, how safe it felt here and free at the same time. And while he talked about all the stars one could see at night, Loki composed himself after a while and stopped shaking like a leaf in the wind. 

 

“Thank you,” he croaked and lifted his head. “I- I don’t know what came over me.” He cringed and sat down on his ass, apparently his knees started to hurt after kneeling on that uncomfortable floor. Wood did that to one’s knees. 

 

“Well, you dickhead thought it was a fine idea to let go of the spear on the bridge.” Rhodey petted Loki’s knees thinking of ways to set Loki up with Tony. He could of course just let Mother Nature run her course but was it worth the risk? He glanced at his hand with the five rings. He had to do something. Just letting things happen wasn’t going to cut it. 

 

Loki hid his face behind his hands, gulping tears down. 

 

“That was real?” he whispered then, cramping his fingers and pulling at his hair. It looked painful. Rhodey felt pity welling up in him. It must’ve been difficult to wake up and see that what you thought was a nightmare actually was your reality. He had to cheer up Loki somehow. “Yeah, your skin is as blue as mine,” he told him excitedly. “Although Yggdrasil should’ve given you enough power by now that you can turn back to your pale skin.” 

 

Loki whimpered, realising for the first time what skin he wore. “I hoped it was nothing more than an elaborate leg-pulling.” 

 

“No,” Rhodey answered calmly. “Not this time.” 

 

They sat there in silence, Loki’s blue slowly fading away and turning pale again. 

 

“So you shithead want to tell me what these last days were about?” 

“I went bonkers.” 

“And why?” Rhodey asked, tying his green hair back. It tickled and felt wet. Loki had cried on him during their hug. It felt good, knowing that Loki trusted him enough to cry on him, to show him how he felt; and he could show as well as prove Loki he was there for him. 

 

“I am adopted.” 

“By people who love you,” Rhodey replied with a small smile. That wasn’t the time to doubt Odin loudly. 

 

“I am a Frost Giant!” 

“Your blue is prettier than mine.”

That shut Loki up. Rhodey grinned satisfied.

 

“But I am a mo-” 

 

Rhodey clamped a hand over Loki’s mouth shut. “No,” he said sternly. “Whatever you wanted to say right now,  _ forget it _ .” 

 

Loki’s mouth moved silently beneath his hand. Rhodey stared at him. “If you even utter one word about being a monster, you asshole, I will turn you into a  eucalyptus deglupta.” 

“I have no idea what that is.” 

“A rainbow coloured eucalyptus. Tony loves them.”

 

“Tony?” 

 

Rhodey nodded. “Yes.” A smile sneaked on his face. “Human. Met him on earth a while back when I was drunk. Got stuck with that bastard somehow.” 

 

“You like him, huh?” Loki positively  _ leered _ . 

 

Rhodey blinked. Blinked again. “No!” he cried out shocked and shudder ran over him. 

 

And he already had imagined Loki and Tony together, to say something like that about his best friend of good 20 years … he shook his head in disbelief. It was stunning to him that someone would suggest he wanted more from Tony. Tony was for him a small brother, his friend and co-conspirator in arms, nothing more. “If you say or even suggest something like that again, I  _ will _ turn you into an eucalyptus, don’t think I wouldn’t do it, you dumbass.” 

 

“Empty threats,” Loki grinned at him and finally, the tension in his body since he woke up seemed to leave him. Rhodey felt immediately better seeing his friend relax. “Yeah,” Rhodey agreed quietly. He couldn’t turn Loki into a tree. He’d miss him. Better have a stupid best friend than one who failed to respond. 

 

“So what do we do now?” Loki asked him. Rhodey wanted to answer  _ “Well, we could turn your father into a tree” _ when Loki suddenly started to bleed out of his eyes, and some dark red drops fell from his mouth as well. 

 

Rhodey was paralysed. He- he didn’t understand? What was happening? 

 

It was gone in the next moment again. 

 

“Captain Planet?” Loki shook him vehemently. “Wake up!” 

 

“I  _ am _ awake,” Rhodey growled and looked at his friend carefully. No trace of blood anywhere to be seen. The five rings at his hand burned. 

 

“Good.” Loki stood up, stretched himself and Rhodey  _ swallowed _ , seeing all these scars on Loki’s body. They looked old but were still a horrifying sight. He wondered when his friend gained them. He, he didn’t have them when they had been in the sauna on Asgard together. He was pretty sure about that. Loki had a smooth body, no scars - at least not so big ones. 

 

“I think we should visit Tony,” he suggested, averting his eyes from Loki’s body. He needed to weasel out of Loki where he got them so he could turn these motherfuckers into trees. Nobody hurt his friends and got away with it. 

 

“Yes,” Loki agreed absently. “ _ Captain Planet _ , why don’t you use one of your rings to transport us through  _ space _ to your friend?” 

“I don’t think one of my rings can do that.” 

“The blue one can, I am sure of that. But let me rest for this day?” Loki conjured himself some simple pants and a dark green tunic on. “And then we go to Stark tomorrow?” 

 

Had he told Loki Tony’s last name was Stark? Rhodey couldn’t say. It was very foggy in his brain and his back hurt. “No problem.” 

 

_ “The rings, _ ” Yggdrasil whispered in a low pitch and tugged at his hand.  _ “Ask after them. And hug him, Captain Planet.” _

 

Rhodey nodded and moved forward to give his friend a hug. 

 

“You have any food here?” Loki’s stomach grumbled loudly. Poor sod didn’t get to eat anything for a while, of course he was hungry. 

 

Rhodey put out some plates with food, he didn’t know what it was, Yggdrasil gave it to them so it had to be good, right? 

  
  


“The rings have incredible power,” Loki started to explain while munching on some fruit. His eyes glowed green. “You can use them for corruption, for decimation, for extinction. But also for great things like turning back time, restoring things as they used to be.” Loki’s eyes fell for a moment on Rhodey’s legs then wandered back up to his face. “And by that I mean  _ everything _ .” 

 

“Can they restore the environment on earth?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Tell me about these badass motherfucking rings, Lokes,” Rhodey said with a gleam in his eyes and leant forward. Saving earth was a good idea. 

 

“You are missing one,” Loki abandoned his last piece of fruit and placed his elbows on the table. “If you have all six,” he whispered, “all power is yours. There are nothing and no one who could stop you. Not even the greatest heroes could manage it. No obstacles in your path, Captain Planet. Just you, and your rings.” 

 

“Awesome.” Rhodey stared at his rings in wonder, admiring their sheer beauty for what seemed like the first time. He had a blue, a green, purple, white and orange. And only one was missing to become the most powerful being? His heart beat faster. 

 

“But,” Loki interrupted him with a sharp grin on his face. “Don’t think the stones wouldn’t betray you. They serve you, yes,” he grinned even more, “but that doesn’t mean they are being faithful. They are constantly searching for a way to trick you, to betray you and they won’t stop.” He breathed heavier and Rhodey felt something like angst creeping up on him. Loki looked scared, even when he tried to hide it behind his act. 

 

Because this was what it was. A simple act. Loki acted all tough and mad but he was actually scared. Scared of the possibilities the stones provided? No. No, it wasn’t that. Pain flared up in him when he realised his friend was scared of what  _ he _ might do with all six rings. It would explain the looks he shot at his rings ever since they met. The fear in his eyes even if Loki did his best to hide it and act normal around him. Rhodey appreciated that. 

 

“Loki,” he said slowly, trying to calm him down. “My friend, I promise you I won’t use these rings except for turning some motherfuckers into trees. I leave that fucking last ring alone. I swear it.” 

 

Loki nodded. “Because if you do, I will end you.” He gazed solemnly into his eyes. Rhodey swallowed. “Captain Planet or not, there is a way to destroy you.” Loki smiled at him sadly. “Although it would hurt losing a hero and a friend such as you.” 

 

Rhodey’s mouth twitched. “Don’t get all sentimental on me, Loki.” 

“Never, Captain Planet.” His voice became quieter. “You won’t even remember me later.” 

 

“I will always remember you,” Rhodey argued and took hold of his friend’s wrist. “Don’t think I’d forget you. Never. Not even if my legs would hurt less in exchange.” 

 

“Thank the Norns then that you can fly and don’t necessarily need your legs.” 

 

Rhodey laughed at that comment.

  
~*~

 

The next day came faster than it took Tony to fly to Afghanistan and back. 

 

Yggdrasil was there the whole night and held Rhodey’s hands and he woke up with tears on his face. Loki ignored them politely, simply offered Rhodey a cup with coffee with the words “Morning, Captain,” and then they were off to earth. 

 

It smelled like shit here, he completely forgot. As well as telling Frigga her son was still alive. Eeh, shit happened. He lifted his foot out of the pile of dog excrement on the pavement. That was the thanks he got for being such an amazing captain - a piece of shit. 

 

Loki sniggered. 

 

He hated that dumbfuck. As an exchange, he turned some pigeon into a small bush. Motherfucker deserved it. 

 

“You don’t think you overreacted a bit?” Loki asked, still sniggering.

“No, you stupid bitch.” He glared at his friend. And at the pigeon-bush. 

 

“Don’t call me a bitch,” was the calm - way too calm oh shit - reply Loki’s. “And now introduce me to your  _ friend _ .” 

 

Rhodey nodded and opened the door to Stark Tower. He could feel Loki’s glare in his back. He fucked up. The elevator doors sprang wide open when they came closer. 

 

One rule when you were friends with Loki: don’t you dare it to call him a bitch, motherfucker or something similar. That boy held his mother in the highest regard. Rhodey knew better than to insult Loki. 

 

Oooh, he’d so pay for that later on. Yeah. They left the elevator. Tony was waiting for them with a huge smile painted on his face. 

 

“Planetbear, you’re back!” he greeted him enthusiastically and then dragged him into his arms. Rhodey smiled. His friend was such an affectionate hugger and touch-loving person, he adored it. “Yes,” he mumbled into Tony’s hair. “And I brought a friend with me.” 

 

“Are they hot?” Tony asked priorities sorted out. Oh, this was already so much better than Rhodey imagined. And now he just had to show Loki to Tony and then they were nearly a couple. Life could be so good. 

 

“Yes,” he simply answered and left Tony’s hug. He pointed at the lanky God, standing in the room and just … staring at them with a curious gleam in his eyes. Weird man. 

“Tony, this is Loki. Loki, that’s Tony,” was his introduction and then-

 

Couldn’t move anymore. 

His fingers. Frozen. Legs. All. Everything. Unmovable. It felt familiar though. This. 

 

“Did you just turn my best friend into a tree?” he heard Tony ask of Loki. Oh, so that's why it felt so familiar. He was a tree. Hopefully a beautiful oak. He loved oaks. Or a pear tree. Would also be very nice. 

 

“Yes.” 

“I don’t think I like you.” Tony crossed his arms and a warm feeling settled in Rhodey’s branches. “You can’t just go around and turn people into trees. Especially not Rhodey.” 

 

“I don’t think he minds the state he’s in.” 

“And how would you know, asshole?” 

 

He loved Tony’s protective side. Also, what the ever loving fuck did Loki mean with  _ he doesn’t mind the state he’s in _ ? Of course he did mind. He was supposed to turn people into trees, not the other way around! As soon as he’d leave this form he’d turn Loki into one. Motherfucker so had it incoming. 

 

“Because he could just use his powers to turn back into Captain Planet.” 

 

Tony nodded satisfied. “So you know who he is.” What a good friend Tony was, all concerned that Loki wouldn’t know the importance of Rhodey being Captain Planet.

 

“He came to my planet a long time ago, asking who’d care for the trees in our garden because they’re so lovely. Then stuck around when he realised that Yggdrasil is the most powerful in Asgard and comes now regularly to visit her,” Loki explained with an amused note in his voice. 

 

“Yeah, he just turned my bottles with alcohol into broccoli when I refused to believe him.” 

 

Rhodey had to grin. He remembered that occasion. Fun times. 

 

His friends started to laugh together and Rhodey felt so proud of himself. His leafs started to shake happily. 

 

Oh, right. He still was a tree. Very comfortable state. So relaxing. Calm. He felt like he cou-

  
~*~  
  


“Welcome back,” Tony’s voice woke Rhodey from his slumber. When did he turn back into his normal form? “Loki was nice enough to offer to turn you back, seeing that you slept for four hours now.” 

 

“Four hours, you say?”

“Mhm.” Tony grinned amused and patted his shoulder. “And we thought it would be better to have you awaken in your natural form, so you aren’t shocked all too much.” 

 

“Thanks,” he said and yawned. The tree in him was really hungry. But his body started to feel better slowly. Maybe he should leave the tower (leave his friends to their  _ activities _ , he wasn’t blind there were lovebites now on Tony’s throat) and do the planet some good. Like, turning asshats into trees. 

 

He owed Loki a tree-changing experience, he mustn’t forget that. 

 

“You had fun?” he raised his brows. Tony winked and smirked. So he had a lot of fun in these four hours with Loki. 

 

“Are you a thing now?” was Rhodey’s next question. Sometimes he was very glad of his friends’ brazen personalities. It made setting them up so much easier. With each other. Tony’s smirk dimmed a bit. No. Nonononono. That wasn’t good. Rhodey wouldn’t allow these dickheads to ruin their future lives by being really insensitive and overall stupid motherfuckers. More than seven billion people already did that. No need to add another two on that list. 

 

“He left for a bit.” Tony stared down at Rhodey’s blue hands. “Said, he had to research titan stuff.” 

 

“Does he.” 

“More time for us then,” Tony suggested and threw himself down on Rhodes’, cuddling on him. “I  _ miiiiiiiiissed  _ you,” he whined. “You were gone already for one week.” 

 

“So long?” He didn’t think he was gone so long. It felt like a dream, the time with Loki on Asgard. No pressure, no pollution, no annoying voices, just - a simple vacation. 

 

“Don’t you dare to disappear for another week,” Tony threatened. 

“I’ll try my best.” 

  
~*~  
  


After another breakfast (some toast with tomatoes, he loved it) he finally had the time to talk with Tony some more. So many things could happen in one week. Like a very unfortunate fall. 

 

“And he said your rings have powers? Like, differently to the ones you already have?” 

“Yupp.” Rhodey raised his ornamented hand, showing off his five rings. “Apparently I can transport through space.” 

 

Tony looked at his rings with new interest. “And you are forbidden from hunting for the last one?” 

“Loki threatened to kill me should I choose to do it.” 

 

“He’s not a very happy chap, is he?” Tony wondered out loud, then became quiet for a moment. “I just wonder why he’d forbid you going after the rings. It seems very un-lokily.” 

 

“How do you mean?” Rhodey asked, not understanding. Why would it be unlike Loki? Loki wasn’t one searching for power (just glory but nobody needed to know that). 

 

Tony frowned, shook his head. “He seems like a person who’d enjoy to demand of others to kneel, don’t you think?” 

 

“I don’t think I need to know so much about what’s going on in your bedroom, Tones,” Rhodey replied, cringing, trying to ban these images from his mind. 

 

“What?” 

 

Rhodey pointed at Tony’s lovebites. The ones that weren’t there anymore. Hu. 

 

“Yeah, I don’t - would you honestly believe I’d fuck Loki?”

“You did that. Literally four hours ago.” 

 

“Sometimes I worry with what your mind is coming up with, Rhodey.” Tony shook his head and looked so tired and defeated suddenly. “I don’t even know what if this here is your stuff?” 

 

“You complain too much,” Rhodey argued. Was Tony feeling okay? Or was this what was left of his friend after a good fuck? No brain cells (or not many) left to work and function properly? 

“Can’t imagine it was very satisfactory, that’s all,” Tony added amused. 

 

Rhodey worried even more now. 

 

Before he could ask his friend though if he felt alright or needed some more apple juice, Loki re-appeared. He looked at Tony strangely as if he wouldn’t understand him anymore. Or … yeah. 

 

He owed Loki one, right? 

 

And with that, he shot Loki and turned him into a beautiful pine tree. 

 

Tony stared at the Loki-tree. To him. Back to Loki. 

 

Man, he hoped Tony wouldn’t get a cramp in his neck for that. 

 

“Did you just turn Loki into a tree?” 

 

“He turned me into one first!” 

 

Tony stared at him. Then started to laugh loudly, doubled over, clutched his belly and just … laughed. Loki turned back into himself and smiled  _ fondly _ at the human in their midst. 

 

“This time,” he said to Rhodey while still staring at Tony, “I will forgive you for turning me into a tree. Next time, I won’t be so forgiving.” 

“You just don’t mind because you can now admire Tony’s arse, admit it.” 

 

Loki grinned at him. Shameless fuckhead. 

 

What was he thinking, setting them both up? 

 

“Hello, Reindeer Games,” Tony greeted Loki laughing. “Nice to see you again.” 

“If you would have been just that nice when we last met,” Loki replied amused. 

 

“Well, I heard one of us did some kneeling in here.” Tony pointed at Rhodey, sobering up a bit. “You’re not fucking with his mind, are you”? 

 

Loki shook his head. “I wouldn’t dare to.” 

 

“Good.” 

 

Rhodey just felt confused, it was as if he was missing a bit. What where they both talking about? He- he couldn’t follow. 

  
  


He turned them both into broccoli. Flirting (or whatever they were doing now) was too distracting for him. So, broccoli they became. No one would talk about things while Captain Planet didn’t understand. This was why he had his rings. 

 

He jumped out of the window and turned some civilians into trees. Some into bushes. Other ones into flowers. And someone into an orange. He already looked like an orange anyway, so no big deal.

 

“I knew I could do it,” he whispered and shot some more people, turned them into trees in the progress. “The power is mine.” 

 

Time flew by, as did he. The rings  _ whispered _ to him, wanting to seduce him into finding their lost siblings and he, he wanted to give in. It would be so easy. But he didn’t. Out of seven-, he had already turned two billion people into trees. And Yggdrasil in his mind was delighted, all the good green air - 

 

He felt good. 

 

He did well. 

 

He was the best. 

  
  


But there was something he forgot. But what was it? The trees all glistened green from dew and Rhodey never felt better. The world was in peace. Just some woodpecker that still annoyed him, but hey. Some motherfuckers would never leave. 

 

Oh. 

 

He forgot Tony and Loki. 

 

No. 

Yes?

No. 

 

He wouldn’t forget his friends. 

 

Or did he turn them into trees? Or squirrels? Rhodey wasn’t sure. Worried what happened with his friends he flew to Stark Tower just to find his friends sitting there on bar chairs, drinking some beverage. 

 

“I don’t like being broccoli,” Tony greeted him with and put a bottle of beer on the counter. “And being the last human on earth  _ sucks _ .” 

“Don’t worry, you suck better.” Loki smiled at Tony and Rhodey?

 

Rhodey spit out his drink. 

 

“What did I miss?” 

“Well,” Tony drawled amused and took a sip of his own beer. “Being turned into a broccoli really binds people together.” 

 

Loki turned to Rhodey. “I don’t have to kill you, have I?” 

“I didn’t go looking for the other ring if you mean that.” 

 

Loki patted him on the shoulder. “Perfect. I think you deserve a reward for that.” He smiled and Rhodey felt something warm splatter through him. Then it was gone. But he felt younger, suddenly. Younger and more alive than in a while. 

 

“I think it’s time for you to wake up, James Rhodes,” Loki said with a smile that barely reached his eyes. “You know what will happen and your friend knows most of it now as well.” 

“Loki, what?”

 

He shooed him. “It’s time. You proved yourself well as Captain Planet but you need to wake up and take up the mantle of War Machine again. And you have to take care of that other idiot as well.” He stood up.

 

Rhodey was just confusion. 

 

“Wake up!” 

  
  
~*~

  
  


It smelled all very clinical. 

 

Rhodey opened his eyes with some difficulties. 

It was all so bright.

 

Machines were beeping. 

 

What happened? 

 

He remembered being in Berlin, fighting Cap and his friends and then- 

 

Then he fell out of the sky. 

  
  


He looked around, searching the room for familiar faces.   
Where were his friends? 

  
  



	2. No magic word, no Loki

Rhodey was awake. 

 

Tony couldn’t believe it when he first got the message. 

 

He let Friday check it over. He didn’t dare to hope, only to have it turn out wrong and his heart would shatter and break once more. Thankfully did the report turn out to be right. Tony sighed relieved. 

 

These last two weeks were pure horror. Steve and he had their fight, what the public decided to title “Civil War”. He got a shield shoved into his chest. Left alone in a bunker. It wasn’t a fun time to be Tony Stark. 

 

He had the most fun in his dreams, actually. That was a novelty. They used to be full of dead bodies, made him feel buried beneath feelings of guilt and shame and made him wake up in tears. 

 

But now they were fun. 

 

He dreamt of Loki visiting him and they had some talks. About 2012, their families, Rhodey’s condition and wasn’t it surprising to learn that Loki already knew of it? Those talks were fun. They were never long though, Loki always claimed he had to visit another friend. After Loki left him, Tony always fell into a dreamless slumber.

 

But one-night Rhodey and Loki appeared in his tower in his dream and it was so crazy-

 

Suddenly it was like he couldn’t form sentences anymore that would have made it obvious he and Loki knew each other? 

 

Also, Rhodey was suddenly a blue alien being called “Captain Planet” and one of his best friends was Loki.

 

To say Tony became very suspicious was an understatement. 

 

Then he realised that he knew he was in a dream but couldn’t say Rhodey’s name, only “Captain Planet.”

 

He couldn't say anything. No. Instead, he saw his friend being turned into a tree. Then fucked with Loki. He couldn’t remember that part, he woke up from his sleep and had to go to a meeting. When he went to bed that evening and eventually fell asleep he dreamt of waking Rhodey up, then Loki and him had some words with each other and then he got to talk to Rhodey again about those rings. 

 

So weird. Fun though. 

 

He and Happy drove to the hospital where Rhodey was being treated. 

 

The moment Tony saw his best friend awake (in real life) and smiling, he rushed over to his bed and climbed into the bed as well. Nobody said that there was only one person supposed to be in a hospital bed. 

 

Tony felt happy. He had his Rhodeybear back. He was not ashamed to admit he cuddled Rhodey and tried to touch as much of his friend as he could. 

 

“Hello Tony,” Rhodey greeted him hoarse and slang his arms around him as good as he could. “How are you?” he asked him and lifted his head to look at his friend in his tired eyes. 

 

Rhodey smiled. “Good. The doctor is supposed to come in a few minutes and to tell me what is going to happen now with my spine and my legs. You want to stay for that?”

 

Tony nodded and snuggled closer to his friend again. Rhodey didn't have to say "please, stay." Tony knew when the time was to be there for his friend and when Rhodey could or wanted to do things on his own. This time, it was the case of the former.

 

“Nice to see you as well, Happy,” Rhodey’s chest vibrated beneath Tony and he sighed contently. He had his friend back. 

 

“Good to have you back. Tony went mad without you,” he heard Happy reply and chose to give Happy the finger for his loyalty. 

 

Happy decided to leave after a while, he didn’t feel all too comfortable in hospitals after his long stay in one.

  
  


Tony was still cuddling with Rhodey when the doctor came in, clipboard under his arm and a smile on his face. Tony had been often enough in a hospital by now to know that a smile didn’t mean necessarily everything was okay. Or good. His doc was all smiles and (forced) cheeriness when he announced him his ribs were broken in several places due to Cap’s shield. 

 

What a nice thing to wake up to after believing one would freeze to death in Siberia.  

 

Smiles sucked. Traitorous things, all of them.

 

“Mr Rhodes, it’s very nice to see you awake,” the doctor greeted Rhodey and then turned to Tony. “Would you leave the bed? I’d like to see my patient in the eyes when I talk to them.” 

 

Tony nodded, leaving his best friend’s chest and sat on the corner of the bed, refusing to leave his friend fully alone. He actually was just scared his Platypus would disappear or fall back into paralysis. It was an unlikely outcome, but in the last few weeks, unlikely things tended to become more likely than not. 

 

It really didn’t sit right with him that Bruce wasn’t here. He didn’t trust anyone else on the whole health business - except maybe Cho - but Brucie was his confidant of the first choice. 

 

“Do you feel any pain in your lower body area?” The interrogation started and while Rhodey answered all questions with some infinite amount of patience - no, no pain; he feels good; yes he can sense his toes, yes he can bend them - Tony wanted to throttle the doctor. Couldn’t he just say what was wrong with Rhodey? And how did Rhodey even manage to stay that patient, he sat there like an angel and listened and answered everything-

 

Tony just wanted to know what he should invent to make his friend feel better. 

 

“Mr Rhodes,” the doctor said finally and put his clipboard down. “I have seen a lot of things in my time, and I know magic must be commonplace for you, but I never expected you would wake up completely healed.” 

 

“What?” they both said at the same time. 

 

Tony’s heart pounded fast in his chest, did he hear that right? 

 

The doctor nodded solemnly. “We can’t explain it otherwise. When you first got here, you were diagnosed with leg paralysis and we weren’t sure if you’d even regain the ability to walk.” He shrugged, got the clipboard again and proceeded to show them charts and X-Rays. 

 

It looked like Rhodey’s legs started to heal slowly three days ago until he made this morning a speedy recovery and his legs were as they used to be. Completely fine. The doctor left after that epiphany, leaving behind two stunned and pleasantly surprised men. 

  
  


“Magic, hm?” Rhodey wondered, touching his legs tentatively. Tony nodded, suspicion filling him. Magic? And that after all these dreams with Loki? 

 

Yeah no, he didn’t believe in coincidences and this was just a bit too coincidental to be considered normal. 

 

“You know, I had some very weird dreams,” Rhodey admitted and looked out of the window. “I was an immensely active environment lover and activist.” Tony blinked baffled, this sounded … familiar to his ears.  “Yeah,” Rhodey snorted and touched his shaved head amused. “I had long green hair and wore an outfit, even more ridiculous than the one of Roger.” 

 

“Were you by any chance called Captain Planet?” Tony asked Rhodey and his fingers clamped around his arms. 

 

“Yes?” 

 

“And you had the tendency to turn other people into trees?” Tony continued to ask, already knowing what the answer would be. 

 

“Or broccoli, yes.” Rhodey turned to him. “Tony, don’t tell me you had the same dream.” 

“Platypus, you dreamt I was fucking Loki!”

“You didn’t complain in the dream!” Rhodey defended himself then - 

 

That asshole started laughing. Tears ran down his face and he wiped them away, just to have some more leaking out of his eyes. 

 

Tony sat there, bedazzled, a smile tugging on his lips and couldn’t stop thinking that Rhodey and he shared the same fucking dream. 

 

“So, if you and I had the same dream,” Rhodey started to say, trying to control his laughter. “Do you think Loki had the same one as well?” He waggled with his eyebrows. 

“I hope he did,” Tony grinned.

 

“Wait,” he said, dread filling his stomach. He suddenly felt like someone being thrown into the sea, shackled and pulled by some fucking stones deeper and deeper. “Isn’t Loki supposed to be dead?” 

  
  


“Right.” Rhodey stared out of the window, frowning, muttering quietly. Tony … sat there and wondered about his life. And his dreams. 

 

Something … didn’t add up here. 

 

Firstly, why were Rhodey’s legs healed? And it was like magic? He doubted it was a work of Wanda, that witch was off to somewhere with Rogers and Co. but she was the only magician he knew of who also was alive. Loki supposedly wasn’t. Secondly, their dreams. How likely was it that they shared the same dreams and got some information out of it as well? Oh, that reminded him. 

 

“The rings,” he said and Rhodey looked automatically on his bare hands. “What did you learn about them in your dreams?”

 

“Do you think it’s true what I dreamt? Them being a source of infinite power?” 

 

Slowly Tony nodded. “Remember when we created Vision?” 

 

“The Mind Stone,” Rhodey said and pointed at his own forehead. “Thor called it an Infinity Stone,” he recalled slowly, looked back to his hands. “It’s a yellow one.” 

 

“Tony, I had an orange ring,” Rhodey raised one finger, then another one with the words “A blue one like the Tesseract, that according to Loki could transport me through space.” 

 

“You think the tesseract was another one of the infinity stones?” 

 

“Why else would I dream about this?” 

 

“Then the question is,” Tony grinned slowly, “how would you know that if not someone shared his knowledge with you because he can’t?” 

 

“That fucker isn’t dead.” 

 

“Nope,” Tony agreed amused. “I’d bet he’s on Asgard and has the time of his life.” And wasn’t that just a very Loki thing? To pretend to be dead to be actually alive? Of course, they’d need more data to prove their theory but getting their fingers on a breathing Loki couldn’t be that difficult? Maybe they could lure him down with some steamed broccoli or so-

 

Shit. 

 

“Platypus,” he groaned and hid his face behind his hands. “If Loki dreamt what we or mainly you dreamt, then …” he blushed. He could feel it. Since when did Tony Stark ever blush? 

 

“He dreamt of you saying he couldn’t be that good of a fuck? Yes.”

 

“Oh no,” Tony groaned and buried his face in his hands. 

 

“Oh yes,” Rhodey grinned and patted him on the shoulder. “You know, you should give Loki a chance to rectify that statement of yours.” 

 

Tony’s mouth dropped open. Did he just hear right?

 

“I mean, he can’t be any worse than Steve,” Rhodey commented and the mood turned bitter suddenly. 

 

“Yeah, about that,” Tony said quietly. Rhodey didn’t even know about the incident in Siberia but already had such a low opinion of the Rogues? He didn’t complain. It felt good having someone on his side, seeing that Steve wasn’t only all sunshine and light. 

 

Rhodey’s brows shot up. “Yes, Tony?” he asked sweetly. “Is there something you might have neglected telling me?” Tony swallowed audibly. 

  
  


Rhodey was so close to yelling at him. Tony cringed when he thought back on that talk, how angry his friend was upon learning that he left and went to look for Rogers alone. 

 

“I don’t give a fuck that you promised Barton you’d go alone,” he had snapped at him. “You could have alerted Happy or anybody but not going there alone. See, this is what happens when I’m out for a while. You do the most stupid shit because no one dares to tell you that you are a thickheaded, stupid idiot who is way too optimistic sometimes.” 

 

Yeah, he felt like Rhodey wrangled him thoroughly. It was as if all emotions were just dampened now because yes, having a breakdown in a hospital sounded like an awesome idea and then they both just hugged and cried some more. 

 

Rhodey was alive! Rhodey’s legs were properly functioning and he wouldn’t have to face any problems with them. 

 

The Rogues were gone. Tony’s ribs still hurt but he could take less medicine already. Sometimes life was pretty okay, apparently. 

 

They drove to the tower with a taxi. They didn’t want to bother Happy who had returned to Stark Industries, doing his job there and helping out Pepper. It was okay. Friday had some pizzas ordered and they slumped down on the couch and watched Frozen, singing along to all songs. Tony loved it. He knew that tomorrow they had to think about Loki and the rings that were infinity stones but for now they could just enjoy their lives. 

  
  
  


The next morning came way too fast. They slurped their coffees and pretended that there were no dire matters to speak of, none at all. Simply another morning to be had. 

 

But alas, everything had come to an end, Tony though and debated if he should make himself a fourth cup or if three were enough for the morning. He decided against it. 

 

“So. Rings. Loki. Dreams,” he started to enumerate. 

“In that particular order?” 

Tony shrugged. “No.” 

 

“Okay,” Rhodey eyed his cup longingly. “What if it’s wrong, what we’re thinking? What if it’s just a big, weird coincidence that we shared the same dream? I heard it can happen.” 

 

“It can, yes,” Tony agreed. He sighed. “But more than just one dream? And we had exactly the same thing happen in them? I don’t think that’s possible as a normal human being.” 

 

“So the dreams must stem from Loki.” Rhodey frowned and shook his head. “I don’t like that. The thought that someone played around in my head and just … toyed with it.” He raised his hand when he saw Tony opening his mouth, who wanted to object. “And yes, I know he told you he wouldn’t dare to fuck around with my head.” 

 

“Cool,” Tony leant back on his chair and looked up to the ceiling. “But I also meant to say that I had some talks with Loki and yes,” he shrugged. “Don’t get the feeling that dude is how he presented himself back then.” 

 

“He’s pretty unstable,” Rhodey agreed with a pained smile. “Either that or I mixed you two up in my dreams.” 

 

“How do you mean?”

 

“Well, he tried to kill himself for one,” Rhodey explained drily. 

 

It was as if a bucket full of icy water got dumped on Tony’s head. Hearing that someone had attempted suicide - 

 

Tony hadn't words for that. He knew how easy it was to get in such a situation and how lonely and abandoned one could feel. “When did he try to do that?” he asked quietly. 

 

“I think sometime before he came to earth.” Rhodey looked at the cup and re-filled it with coffee. “That’s why we came to visit you, actually. I saved him.” Something pained flitted across Rhodey’s face and Tony’s stomach lurched. “He recovered for some time and then we visited you. Tony,” he said quietly. “There was no one to save him. I did it in my dream. But in real life? I think he fell for quite some time and no one tried to save him.” 

 

Tony wordlessly reached for the pot and poured himself a new coffee as well. 

 

“So, what do we do?” 

 

“Find him, confirm he’s Loki and alive then proceed to hug him?” James proposed and downed his coffee. 

“Sounds good to me,” Tony affirmed and did the same. 

 

Didn’t he say originally that he wouldn’t drink the fourth cup? He and resolutions would never become good friends, would they? The fourth cup of coffee, dreaming about fucking the enemy, thinking and sympathizing with the enemy… if Natasha was here she’d say he was compromised. He and James both. Compromised Avengers. He snorted. If Steve was here, he’d rip them both to pieces and would start to recite excerpts from the bible most likely. Seemed like a Steve-thing to do. 

 

“Then, how will we get Loki?” he wondered out loud. They could yell at the sky of course, and hope for the best. Or build another bifröst to get to Asgard. 

 

“Boy, Thor being here now would be nice,” Rhodey sighed. “At least someone who’d know what’s up on Asgard and if that bastard is alive or not.” 

  
  


They heard thunder and the sky started darkening. 

 

Tony pinched himself when he saw lightning on the sky and thought for a moment, he was in a horrible movie. 

 

“Tony, please tell me that you see the same thing as I do,” Rhodey breathed and stared out of the window. With 99.9999998% was there Thor, heading to the tower with flowing hair. 

 

What a horrible cliche to have the hero arrive when they were just in need of him.

 

Thor looked distressed, to say. 

 

Tony opened the door, pinching himself while doing so. Surely this was a dream? No way Thor would appear in exactly that moment they talked about how nice it’d be if he someone from Asgard could help them out. 

 

Another one of Loki’s implanted dreams? 

 

“My friends,” Thor thundered as soon as he was inside. His cape flattered dramatically although there was no wind inside. “I bring grave news: Loki’s alive and he has fled Asgard’s justice once more.” 

 

Loki’s alive, was all Tony could hear. He knew his pulse beat faster and he felt lighter than before. 

 

He turned around to Rhodey, seeing him grin with the same relieved expression, oh holy shit, that bastard really was alive. Alive and well enough apparently to cause mischief again. 

 

“Is there a reason why you’re smiling?” Thor inquired and folded his arms. 

 

“You’re alive!” Rhodey exclaimed. 

“Buddy, you were gone for over a year,” Tony added and patted Thor’s biceps. Yes, their not-so-resident God of Thunder was still a beefcake. Pepper would be delighted to hear of that fact. 

 

“You want a drink?” he offered Thor then because it sure looked liked Thor could use one. 

 

“Sit down and tell us what’s up with Loki,” Rhodey suggested with a grin - oh, he was a clever one, “last we heard is that he was dead, having sacrificed himself for you.” 

 

Tor sighed, his shoulders slumped and he sat down next to Rhodey. “That was what he made us all believe.” He eagerly took the beer Tony offered. “You have poptarts here?” 

 

“Sure.” Tony turned to the cupboard where the poptarts were stored in. He always let Friday buy new ones, in case Thor decided to turn up again and asked for his favourite meal. Tony never got over the fact that Thor loved poptarts more than any alcohol he’d offer to him. 

 

Over some poptarts, Thor began to tell the story of how Loki was alive. “We don’t know for sure how he survived the wound he got on Svartalfheim, but he came back to Asgard and-” he swallowed. 

 

Tony leant forward. “Yes?” 

 

“He posed as Odin Allfather,” Thor whispered and closed his eyes as if in pain. 

 

Tony burst out in laughter. He didn’t expect that. Although that was probably to be expected by Loki, doing the unexpected and hiding in front of their noses. 

 

“That is no laughing matter, Howardson,” Thor wailed and ate another poptart. Munching, he explained: “T'is is a matter of treason, posing as the king.” 

 

Tony shrugged amused. “Isn’t at this point everything Loki does treason?” 

 

“Aren’t you glad your brother is still alive?” Rhodey cut in, sending Tony a glare. What? He just said the truth. 

 

“Yes, I am,” Thor said softly, nearly inaudible. Tony’s heart throbbed hearing the joy in his friend’s voice, laced with anger and sadness. Having Loki as a brother couldn’t be easy. “But I wonder why he wouldn’t reveal himself to me?” 

 

“Maybe he was scared,” Rhodey explained thoughtfully. “Couldn’t be easy for that guy to reveal himself to you after he died for you and apparently only gained forgiveness by that?” 

 

“You think he was scared?” Thor sounded as if that thought took him by surprise. 

 

Tony wondered whether Loki and Rhodey talked about cells and forgiveness, sometime during their dreams. Because he sure did. 

 

“I think he was afraid of going back to the cell.” Rhodey shrugged. “Can’t blame him, being constricted to a cell for eternity doesn’t sound fun.” 

 

“It was his punishment for invading this realm,” Thor argued weakly. 

 

“Nobody says it isn’t what he deserves,” Tony explained and patted Thor’s large hand. “We’re just saying we’d do our best as well, for not having to go back to prison if we had the chance.” 

 

Prison wasn’t any fun. Tony was glad that he never got into prison, even in his wildest years only in police confinement for drinking himself into oblivion and punching too many dicks … fun times. 

 

“Aren’t you mad that my brother still lives?” Thor asked them bewildered. “He, who invaded your country and -”

 

“No,” Rhodey interrupted Thor. “Or, not as mad as you’d believe us to be.” He sighed. 

Tony put his glass down nervously. What would his platypus tell Thor? Everything? Bits? 

 

“We suspected he might be alive,” is all Rhodey said. 

 

Thor’s eyes became comically wide and he sputtered. “H-how?” 

 

It was Tony’s turn to explain, with the look Rhodey sent to him. “How about you tell us first how you discovered Loki’s ruse and then we’ll tell you a funny story?” 

 

As it turned out, they discovered the ruse because Odin Allfather did not cry. At least not openly in the throne room, as Thor assured them quickly. Only ever in the privacy of their rooms, that was what happened at his mom’s funeral as well. No tears during the ceremony but something equal to a waterfall in their rooms, Thor had joked. 

 

Tony was horrified. Loki had cried? Why? 

 

Curiosity burned inside him, curiosity and a feeling that they had to find Loki quicker. 

 

Thor got alarmed by Heimdall and went to the throne room, not believing Heimdall’s report but then he saw the image of Odin flicker, like Loki’s illusion did in his early magic training days as wee lad and it had only taken a “Loki, drop the illusion,” and Loki sat there, with red eyes. And teleported himself away, Gungnir stayed behind. 

 

Fearing that Loki might try to wreak havoc on Midgard once again, Thor had come here to warn them. 

 

Tony shook his head. “I don’t think your brother is going to cause any chaos here.” He stared at Thor and smiled. “Lean back, Thor and sip on your beer, Rhodey and I have a fantastic story to share.” 

 

And so they told Thor of their dreams - or Rhodey’s more like. 

 

The thought of sharing Loki’s and his dream didn’t sit well with Tony, he wanted to keep it for himself. Maybe, but only maybe, he’d share it with Rhodey but - it was his dream, right? It wasn’t selfish to keep that for him and not share? 

 

Rhodey at least remembered them doing something Tony would love to remember. Yeah, so he acted all shocked and incredible and not amused at James’ suggestion he should give Loki a chance, but honestly - 

 

He was jealous, damnit. 

 

He was honest to God jealous that his dream-self got it on with Loki, and he was stranded on earth and no Loki in sight, no one to talk to about problematic fathers, about chaos and why explosions certainly were a form of art and - 

 

Oh. 

 

He looked up as comprehension dawned on him. 

 

“Something the matter, Tony?” Rhodey asked. 

 

“I think I have a problem,” Tony admitted in a small voice. 

 

“When don’t you?” asked Rhodey at the moment Thor offered helpfully: “Can we aid you?” 

 

He groaned. When did that happen? When, in between fighting with Cap, having weird dreams and Rhodey’s awakening? Surely two weeks wasn’t enough to, to form some sort of attachment? To develop feelings for Loki? 

 

Was he alright? Got he bewitched again? 

 

That nearly made him cackle. 

 

“Tony?” Rhodes asked him. 

 

“I think,” Tony said slowly, “that my problem needs to be found, so I can sort it out. Really, it’s a very specific problem that cannot be solved currently.” 

 

“Are we missing someone?” Rhodey suggested and waggled with his eyebrows. 

 

“Someone who I might call my traitorous brother?” Thor asked solemnly and put down his beer. “Because in that case, I might help you finding the solution to your problem.” 

 

“Do I even want to know how you figured it out so fast?” Tony looked to his friends questioningly. 

 

Rhodey rolled his eyes. “Tony, you fucked that guy in my dream. Repeatedly. Don’t you think that wouldn’t tell me something?” 

 

He saw Thor wincing. “There are things I don’t need to know about my brother and his affairs,” he said and pointed with one poptart at Tony. “I hope you  _ solve _ your problem peacefully and far away from me.” 

 

“You’re not … I don’t know, angry? Aren’t big brothers supposed to be the angry and protective ones?” 

 

“Friend Tony,” Thor explained with a huge smile on his face. “If you hurt my brother, you can count yourself lucky when he won’t cut off your balls, or shave your face bald, knowing how much pride you take in your appearance.” 

 

“Awesome,” Tony said. “I went and fell for someone who tends to cut off people’s balls.” 

 

“Don’t sound so tired, Tony,” Rhodey admonished him. “If he cuts off your balls, I’ll turn him into broccoli, just for you. How does that sound?”

 

“Like the best fucking dream ever.” Tony gave him a high-five. Just because he could. 

 

He had no big brother but he had Rhodey and Rhodey was the best friend one could have. No sharing allowed. At least not if they didn’t get the Tony Stark approval stamp. 

 

“So, how do we find Loki?” he asked in the round. 

 

“We try different methods,” Thor suggested and hit the table with his fist. Tony winced. So much strength in one guy. “But first I have to return my father to the throne of Asgard but I will be back as soon as I can and help you in your endeavour.” 

 

“Thanks, Point Break,” Tony tried his best to express his gratitude but he wasn’t sure it came through, he had a lump in his throat suddenly. Where did that come from? He, he wasn’t feeling all mushy and sentimental just because his friends decided to listen to him and also, to help him? 

 

What an experience after living through what it could be like, when one wouldn't listen and not listen and still not listen.

 

“I’d like to throw in here that before you go and jump your future husband,” Rhodey said fondly, “I have a hug that needs to be shared with him.” 

 

“My friends,” Thor exclaimed and were that tears in his eyes? Oh good, maybe he wasn’t the only one right now feeling very teary-eyed. “I can’t thank you enough for being forgiving to my brother. That means a lot to me.” He sniffed a bit. 

 

Tony had the urge to pat Thor’s biceps again. 

 

“We will find Loki,” Rhodey promised and smiled at them. “It may take us a while, but we will find that sneaky bastard.” He looked to Tony. “Have broccoli ready. I know just what to prepare for dinner should we find him.” 

 

Thor left them after he broke nearly all of their ribs with his hug. 

 

Apparently, Odin got hidden by Loki in a senior citizens’ home. Tony thought it was hilarious, hiding one of the most powerful beings in a senior home but then again, what did that say about Loki’s magic abilities to achieve that? 

 

He felt pride welling up inside him. 

  
  


Sadly, the search for Loki wasn’t that fruitful. 

 

Thor returned to them after three days and even brought some books with him, to find out how to locate Loki. 

 

But it seemed like Loki did not want to be found. 

 

They painted the floor with runes and other sigils, even adding some of their blood to make the spell more powerful. They had to, Thor explained with a small grimace because his magical abilities were close to nothing and Loki could draw his directly from Yggdrasil. 

 

Apparently a big deal, since Yggdrasil was the world tree and only a few chosen ones could do so. Which meant, translated, only Loki could since Frigga was dead now. 

 

But to no avail. 

 

Loki hid himself from their spell. 

  
  


So they sacrificed something that was important to Loki, and each of them something that was important to them as well, but reminded them of Loki.

 

Thor returned to Asgard to return with a helmet of Loki and a vase Loki had gifted him with, claiming it was of great importance in Midgard. Tony laughed at that, because that vase? You could get that at every shop in America. 

He sacrificed something of the scotch he had offered Loki back then in 2012 and Rhodey sacrificed broccoli. 

 

It made him laugh again. 

 

But still, no Loki. 

  
  


They tried some more things out. 

 

Like, yelling at the sky and only going back inside when helicopters started to circle the tower to catch Tony Stark and James Rhodes and Thor Odinson live on camera, yelling for Loki. Yeah, that better didn’t end up on the evening news. He checked with his PR team quickly to ensure that. 

 

Pepper would kill him when SI stocks would plummet again because of him.

 

They danced around a fire in his penthouse, hoping to catch Loki’s interest since he was a God of Fire apparently as well. 

 

Nothing.

  
  


Tony and Rhodey cuddled in one bed, covering themselves in broccoli, but to no avail, again. 

 

Admittedly, they were drunk when they did that. 

 

Drunk and crying. 

 

But Tony finally told Rhodey of the dreams he had shared with Loki and got punched for that in the chest because he deserved that, one had to tell his best friends about dreams. 

  
  


Tony wasn’t one to give up easily but after two more months, he felt like doing so. They sat on the sofas in his penthouse, and Tony studied his ceiling more intently than ever before. 

 

“Loki does what he wants,” Rhodey mumbled into the room, echoing words Thor had been uttering before he left them to venture back to Asgard. “Is there anything we haven’t tried out yet?” 

 

“Don’t think so,” Tony said and continued to stare at the ceiling. If it felt lonely, up there? 

  
  
  


“Well, you haven’t tried please yet,” came an amused voice and Tony dropped his drink in shock. 

 

Loki stood there, with a huge smirk plastered on his face and looked at them with a raised brow. 

 

“Loki,” he whispered, afraid this was just an illusion of his mind and a word spoken too loud would shoo the mage away. 

 

“Hello Anthony,” the mage greeted him with. “I hope you had some pleasant dreams in the last few months.” 

 

It felt like someone stole his breath. He knew that feeling. Didn’t happen to him all too often. But right now, it was there. Loki was there and alive. His heart beat faster and his fingers cramped in Rhodey’s thigh. 

 

Loki was there.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, even more broccoli feels, who'd have thought :D


	3. Steamed Broccoli

Loki opened his eyes. He didn’t see Rhodey and Anthony anymore, only Asgard’s throne room. 

 

The dreams were over. Their  _ friendship _ as well. 

 

A sad little smile tugged on his mouth. Those past two weeks had been his highlight. The time he could spend with either of them, or more recently, with both of them in one  dream, had been amazing. 

 

Loki had not expected that this was where the little seeds, he had planted into Rhodey’s mind were going. 

 

He only had wished to share his knowledge about the great grape and the confounded Infinity Stones; he didn’t expect Rhodey's subconscious to try to pull him in and invite him to stay. Rhodey's mind appeared to be so warm and beautiful, and Loki, who spent most of his time nowadays in the cold throne room of Asgard, could not decline that offer. 

 

He didn't regret it.

 

That was how he got pulled in. He, the great trickster God who had persuaded Thor of his death, got tempted to stay and to dwell because of a sense of warmth, friendliness and acceptance. 

 

And James proved himself to be a marvelous friend in his dreams. Even though he was a little bit crazy for wanting to turn them all into trees and broccoli, he always had two open ears -, and a shoulder free for Loki.

 

It was a novel experience. 

 

Loki became so curious about the mortal and why the dreams  _ always _ stayed the same, that was not supposed to happen, that he choose to venture down to earth and look what was going on with his  _ friend _ . 

 

To discover that he was in paralysis was a shock. Although it explained why the dreams didn’t change. 

 

He was so caught up in that moment, he didn’t hear Anthony enter the room. With wide incredulous eyes Loki saw how Anthony sat down next to his friend, squeezed his hands and told him to wake up. And because his mind was already connected with Rhodey’s and Rhodey’s subconscious yearned for Stark, he got an hesitant invite to take a look into Anthony’s mind. 

 

Curious Loki followed the invite and shared from the moment always some minutes with the man and talked with him about Gods, fathers and even more things. Loki could remember it all. He treasured these dreams he shared with Anthony and Rhodey because for some nights he could claim to have friends. 

 

Loki dreaded the day he had to wake up Rhodey as much as he looked forward to it. 

 

Because waking his friend up meant losing him as well. They were friends only in their dreams, not outside of it. Why should they want to remember him? After all, they were enemies and they were glad he was ‘dead’. 

 

But two weeks had passed faster than he could blink and Rhodey had learnt all necessary things about (his life) the looming threat. And suddenly, Loki was faced with the realisation that delaying wouldn’t do any more good. So he healed Rhodey’s legs (as reward and thank you for the friendship) and woke up the man and by that, gained consciousness in the throne room. 

 

He might have nodded off after the last hearing of some ridiculous case. Loki tried to avoid that but he had been so tired. And a small nap wouldn’t hurt anybody, right?

 

That’s what he thought. But as he woke up, there was no one there. Once again, he was alone and all for himself, pretending to be Odin Allfather. He started to  _ cry _ , for Norns sake. 

 

“Calm down,” he muttered to himself, wiping away the tears from his eyes. “There are only mortals, after all.” His heart hurt as he said these words. Still tears flowed from his eyes and it didn’t seem like it would stop soon. “Get a grip on yourself,” he whispered angrily and pinched himself in the hand. 

 

Hopefully nobody would walks in right now, he pleaded with whoever was willing to listen. He refused to believe he was crying over a fictional friendship. What a weakling he was. Exact the kind of weakling Asgard had always pegged him as. 

 

Gungnir in his hands felt so heavy and cold, the throne beneath him was even colder. Loki just wanted to feel warm (and loved) and have someone touch him, tell him he was alright. He yearned for his mother’s gentle touch and soothing voice, for a ridiculous joke told by his friends, for- 

 

He was behaving ludicrous. 

 

Norns, but he wanted someone to be here so  _ badly _ , even Thor would suffice for once. 

 

Maybe that was why he didn’t hear Thor coming. Or he was just drowning too much in self-pity to be a reliable source for himself. 

 

“LOKI!” he heard a familiar voice yell. He looked up. Thor stood there, with flowing hair and lightnings jumping over his body. “Drop your glamour!” 

 

Loki blinked. Dropping the glamour? 

 

“Stop your games, Loki. Your illusion is  _ flickering _ .” 

 

Oh, Loki thought, he was probably more upset when his magic wasn’t even stable. 

 

He let his glamour drop (all) and saw his blue skin taking over, and stared at Thor. Whose jaw dropped and Mjölnir seemed like she was falling out of his hands, and he just wanted Thor to say ‘It’s okay’; ‘Thank the Norns you’re still alive’ or something therealike. But what he wanted, he would not get and he didn’t want Mjölnir atop his chest, seeing how Thor tightened the grip on his hammer, so he decided to drop Gungnir, do some fantastic looking handwavey magic and  _ disappeared _ . 

 

Loki didn’t know where his magic would take him. As long as he wasn’t on Asgard anymore, he was fine. 

 

Being free of the throne was good, Loki could feel it. No need anymore to wear a oppressing disguise? It was as if someone painted all gold of Asgard pitch-black and vomited over it, to paint the darkness of this realm more colourful, a disguise for a home of disguises. 

When he opened his eyes again, Loki stared in shock. He knew this place but he would’ve never guessed it  _ existed _ . He was in the tree house Rhodey had  _ dreamt up _ . 

 

Everything was the same. 

 

He could feel Yggdrasil humming in satisfaction and his own magic seemed to sing. He stumbled over to the bed (it was as soft as he remembered it), threw the blankets over himself and hid there. 

 

Shivers were running up and down his frame and he sobbed in the pillow. There was so much  _ wrong _ in his life, and that he still wore his Jotunn skin wasn’t even the most upsetting part. 

 

Why were his dreams nicer to him than real life? 

 

There had been no Rhodes to save him from his endless fall. There was only darkness and the cold room, capturing him in its strong, unrelenting grip until he passed out. And when he had opened his eyes, there was so much more darkness. So much pain and threats. Hideous visages, darkness, blue, purple, grey. 

 

But now there also were broccoli in his thoughts, smiles, laughter and hugs. He held onto these things and slowly, his tears ebbed away and he could fall asleep. 

  
  


Some days after he had recovered from his break down, his thoughts wandered. Loki gritted his teeth and threw an eldritch blast towards the sky. He was a  _ God _ , no way he could have grown so attached to some lowly mortals. His heart screamed in Black Sabbath at him, denying his claim with all its might and  _ hurt _ . 

 

“No!” he growled and in his hands another blast appeared that he threw against a branch. Yggdrasil twitched. He felt her tugging softly at his magic core, trying to calm him down. He knew she didn’t mind if he would go off now; hurt and damage her in the process. She was simply too good. She was there for him. 

 

_ “My dear youngling,” _ she whispered and he shuddered upon hearing her voice. Soft, yet with a hidden mocking note and he felt like all realms spoke through her to him, so overwhelming was it. Each living core of the realms, bundled in Yggdrasil, comforting him with their words. 

_ “Don’t suppress your feeling.” _ The leaves sang tenderly in the wind and Loki felt his anger slowly evaporating. 

 

“I’m not suppressing feelings when I don’t have any,” Loki countered with an eye twitch. 

_ “When will you stop lying to yourself, youngling?”  _

“I am  _ not _ lying.” 

_ “Of course you would say that.” _ A deep sigh.  _ “Stop talking yourself into believing you don’t feel anything for James Rhodes and Anthony Stark.” _

 

“I can’t allow myself to feel anything for them,” Loki said and stared in the sky. “Because if I do I have to acknowledge what my heart wants, and it’s never a good idea to follow my heart.” he laughed bitterly. “They will jostle me away, Yggdrasil. And you know it.”

_ “I choose them for a reason, youngling. And the reason is not that they will jostle you away.” _

 

“How would you know?” Loki asked, trying not to sound all too curious. 

She giggled.  _ “Because they’re calling for you, youngling. See it for yourself.” _ The mirror in the treehouse suddenly changed what it showed.

 

He saw Rhodey and Tony draw signs on the floor, and Anthony even went so far as to write Loki’s name in Norse runes down  with his blood. 

 

It was as if someone found his ‘on’ button. Thor said some (unnecessary) witchcraft words (what a beginner) but that wasn’t important. 

 

Anthony had with his own blood written down Loki’s name and he could feel the pull - full of  _ feelings _ , a scream for attention and a promise for more. The divine side in him roared and Yggdrasil hummed in satisfaction as some of the sacrificed blood went to her and she multiplied the feeling. Loki was thrumming with Tony’s feelings. 

 

They asked him to come. To visit them. 

 

He laughed, as more and more power got built up in him. He wasn’t going mad (again) but he felt  _ valued _ . 

 

Loki wanted to appear to Anthony so badly, but Thor was there and Loki won’t go back to Asgard. He didn’t flee from there just to be brought back to his cell again. 

His high only ended when they wiped the blood away. The power was still there. 

 

And seeing Tony already brought back thoughts Loki couldn’t allow himself to feel. He  _ had _ to distract himself, otherwise he might just give in and go to his friends. Maybe he’d even do something stupid on a Thor-level, like, hug Rhodes and turn his hair green. Hold Anthony tight against himself and kiss the man stupid, until he was nothing more than pure pudding in his hands, his to do with as he pleased. Loki wanted to do these things so badly. But he, he couldn’t allow himself to act on his own, selfish wishes. 

 

Only because they had attempted to summon him  _ once _ did it not mean they wanted him in earnest. Perhaps they only tried to get a hold of him because he was a ‘novelty’. The new bad friend their parents had warned them about. 

 

No, Loki decided and his hands flickered brightly green as he readied himself for a transport to another place. He would not come to them like a dog to his owner. He was Loki and they had to do more than just that. 

  
  


The next time they tried to summon him he was marveling at the great library of Aris. There were books upon books, thousands of parchment rolls and philosophers he  could learn from. Loki was reading one of the thickest books they had here stored as he felt the familiar pull. 

 

He quickly turned the surface of the table into a mirror and looked what his mortals were up to. They looked so serious and threw with the utmost concentration things into a fire. A grin played around his mouth when he saw Thor sacrifice one of his helmets and the stupid vase he had gifted Thor with. Really, it had been among the bulk rubbish and Loki thought it would be hilarious to tell Thor how important that piece of rubbish was on Midgard. All the times he had visited Thor in his rooms and seen the vase standing there on the windowsill he had to grin. Thor never learned that the vase was nothing worth on Midgard. But it amused Loki to see it standing there. 

 

Even mother had agreed that maybe this way Thor would stop to take everything that came out of someone’s mouth at face value. 

 

Anthony sacrificed him something of the scotch he had offered him some years back. Rhodes gave him a broccoli. 

 

Loki already had to laugh while resisting the pull. It was just too good. 

 

When he returned to the treehouse his mind was set on his friends. He  _ missed _ them and it was even more tempting now to return to them. He couldn’t help himself that was the truth. Maybe it was time he started to acknowledge his feelings. 

 

What did it matter if he did? 

He still wouldn’t go to Midgard. 

 

_ “You are still lying to yourself then, youngling?” _ Yggdrasil asked when he had showered. 

 

“No,” he said hesitantly. 

 

_ “Then tell me, what are you feeling?”  _

 

Loki closed his eyes. “They are my friends,” he whispered and stroked softly over one branch.  _ “What more _ ?” she asked calmly. 

 

“I have feelings for Anthony.” 

 

She laughed and if she had a face Loki would swear that this was the moment she’d wink at him.  _ “You’re close but you’re still lying.” _

  
  


Their next attempt at summoning was yelling at the sky, screaming his name. 

 

Loki stared at them in amazement. It was the third try to make him appear to them. Was it possible that they  _ wanted _ him there in earnest? 

 

_ “Yes. _ ”

“I can’t believe it,” he whispered and touched the mirror hesitantly. “Why would they care?” he swallowed. 

 

_ “Because they consider you as their friend,”  _ Yggdrasil replied and her leaves started another song in the night.

 

It was a familiar tune. Loki remembered it from feasts in Asgard where he had celebrated and listened to the musicians. It was at one of those feasts Yggdrasil had made herself known to Loki, made him aware of her presence. It had been one of the best moments in his life. 

  
  


“Only friends?” he asked out loud, lost in the sight of Anthony. 

 

His heart beat faster. Loki felt  _ good _ when he saw Anthony, his hands twitched and he wanted to touch him through the mirror, touch him, making sure he was  _ there _ . But alas Loki wasn’t on Midgard, but in a treehouse, far away from Midgard. 

 

_ “Maybe even more if you’d ask for it.” _

 

“Can I?” he wondered and saw with regret that his friends had decided to leave the rooftop of the Tower and return back inside. 

 

_ “No one except for yourself is holding you back, youngling,” _ she replied amused. 

 

Loki decided against going to Midgard. He didn’t feel brave enough yet. And Thor might still pop up and Loki wasn’t keen on seeing his cell again. 

 

No, it was better to pine from afar. 

  
  


The next attempt to summon him was downright adorable. Rhodey and Anthony got drunk, went to bed and covered themselves in broccoli. 

 

He took a picture of that. 

 

Never would Loki have guessed they could be so sweet and adorable. 

 

Ignoring the sting of jealousy he listened to them. When Anthony started to tell Rhodes about his dreams Loki felt his hopes getting up. It sounded as if he had enjoyed their talks as much as Loki had. 

 

Time flew by and before Loki knew what was happening two months had passed and it seemed like his friends had decided to give up. 

 

_ “Will you admit now what you feel, youngling?” _ Yggdrasil asked when he cleaned the treehouse up, a distraction from his decision he had made just this morning. 

 

“I love him,” Loki replied simply. The mirror shone in all it’s polished glory. He sighed. “There’s no more reason to put it off.” 

 

_ “No, there isn’t.” _

 

He nodded. The house looked clean again. Satisfied with his work, Loki teleported himself to Midgard, Stark Tower. 

 

Rhodey and Tony sat on a couch. Loki’s fingers trembled as he saw them for the first time since he visited Rhodey in the hospital. And this time they both would be aware of his presence. 

 

He hoped they wouldn’t shoot at him on first sight.

 

“Loki does what he wants,” Rhodey mumbled into the room. Loki smothered a laugh. Yes, he liked to do what he wanted although it became increasingly rare and rarer to act according to that.  “Is there anything we haven’t tried out yet?” 

 

Oh, you sweet fools, Loki thought fondly and was about to reveal himself when Anthony interrupted him. “Don’t think so.” 

 

“Well, you haven’t tried  _ please  _ yet,” Loki said amused and let his glamour drop, became visible to the two humans. Anthony let his drink drop in shock, and not in horror, Loki hoped. 

 

“Loki,” Anthony whispered and blinked a few times. 

 

“Hello Anthony.” He smirked. “I hope you had some pleasant dreams the last few months.” 

  
  


“If you want to fuck, please let me know so that I can leave.” 

 

Loki turned his  head to Rhodes, who had just spoken and couldn’t help himself but smile upon seeing that man. He looked good. 

 

“No fucking,” Anthony said amused. 

 

“No?” Loki repeated with a pout. 

 

“No.” Anthony winked at him. “Later, perhaps.” 

 

Loki felt warm inside. He worried for weeks that coming here would be difficult and perhaps even awkward. Instead, they immediately went over to teasing. 

 

“What’s that frown on your face?” Loki looked confused to Rhodes who patted on the couch next to him. “C’mon, cheer up buttercup. Take a seat, we have a few things we need to clear up.” 

Loki strolled over to the seat and sat down. “Yes, I have questions,” he said and grinned at the two humans. 

 

“No, that’s not how this works.  _ We _ have questions,” Anthony complained. 

“I don’t see why you would have any.” Loki leaned back into the couch, sighing in contentment. “And I wasn’t the one who cuddled with broccoli.” 

 

They stared at him with wide eyes. “Did you see us?” Rhodey squeaked and flushed. 

“So adorable,” Loki pondered, reached into his infinite pocket and pulled out the photo he took. “Look at you. Sweet. Pure fluff. I was  _ so tempted _ to come to you, just to see this adorableness from up close.” 

 

“Oh my god,” Rhodes mumbled and hid his face behind his hands. 

“Then why didn’t you join?” Anthony asked. “Shy? Not up for manly cuddles and tears? Is that it?” 

 

“Scared I might not be welcome,” Loki replied quietly. “Afraid that you won’t be as welcoming as you are right now. That all this is just another hoax I’m falling for. A bait, so I can be brought back to Asgard and to my dreaded cell.” 

 

“You know, Lokes,” Rhodes said and  _ patted his tight _ . Loki stared at the hand. “We don’t shout for everybody at the sky and sacrifice for them broccoli.” 

 

“I didn’t expect you to become so fond of Captain Planet,” Loki admitted and looked up. “Really, I thought you’d just change your dreams on a daily basis but you seemed adamant on being Captain Planet.” 

 

“Well, someone needs to be a good captain. Especially after Rogers fucked it up.” Rhodey shrugged and grinned at him. “And shooting annoying people with lasers that turn them into trees? I don’t think my dreams were ever that much fun before.” 

 

Loki snorted. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for having intruded in your mind.” 

 

“Ask next time beforehand and we’re good,” was Rhodes’ response to that. “And I got to turn you into a tree. That was revenge enough,” he added then. 

 

“I will endeavour to do so.” Loki relaxed more into the couch. It felt so good. “Should I try to conquer your ridiculous realm again,” he began in a deadpan, “just remind me of this couch and I will cease immediately my mad pursuit.” 

 

“Would you stop leering at him, Tony?” 

 

Loki opened his eyes and stared at Anthony, who really earnestly  _ leered _ and waggled with his eyebrows.  Loki’s heart did a jump. He hadn’t dare to hope that his interest might me reciprocated but it seemed like he should have listened to Yggdrasil. 

 

“If he leaves because you can’t keep your cock in your pants, I will end you Tony.” Rhodey interrupted Loki’s musing. “Back with us, buddy?” he asked Loki calmly. “You looked for a second like you might pass out.” 

 

Loki nodded and stared at Rhodey in wonder. Rhodey stood up and looked to them. “I’m going to cook something. Broccoli, if Tony has some here and didn’t cuddle them to death.”

 

“You cuddled with them as well!” Anthony argued amused and slotted closer to Loki. Loki smirked at that. Very  _ subtle _ . 

“I’m back in fifteen minutes,” Rhodey declared and left the room. 

 

Loki turned his head to Anthony. The tension in the room suddenly went up. 

 

“I-”

“Pst, no talking,” Anthony said quietly and was so much closer to Loki than before. He gulped. “Can I ju-”

“No.” Warm hands came up to Loki’s face and thumbs stroked over his cheek softly. “Unless, you want to tell me that you don’t want  _ this _ .” 

 

Anthony’s face came slowly closer to his, giving Loki the chance to back out shouldn’t he want to do what they were about to do. But no way would Loki miss this chance, he wouldn’t, not even if Ragnarök would break out in the next minute. He leant forward and met Anthony’s lips. It was soft and tender, and far better than Loki had dared to hope. Kissing Anthony was like coming home. Warm, welcoming and gentle. He pulled his human closer in, revelling in the feel of their bodies against each other. 

 

“Not against this?” Anthony mumbled sometime in between their kisses. 

 

“No,” Loki replied and pressed another kiss on Anthony’s lips before he let his mouth wander, to pay attention to his neck and his jaw. Anthony whimpered pleased beneath him and as reward, Loki started to suck gently on the soft skin, leaving his mark littered spread all over Anthony’s throat and his collarbones. 

 

Hands roamed over his body, sneaking beneath his simple dark green tunic and short nails scraped over his stomach. He moaned softly. Anthony started to suck on his skin and Loki felt better and better with each passing second. Why had he been so afraid of coming here? This was like Valhalla, only thousand times better, and no dying involved. 

 

“Lunch is ready!” 

 

They startled and it was almost comical, how fast Anthony’s head whipped around. Rhodey stood there, looking at them with the biggest smirk Loki ever had the honour of seeing. 

 

“I leave you alone for fifteen minutes and you make out already.” Rhodey sighed theatrically. “If there only had been someone to bet with for this outcome …. I would have made so much money.” 

 

Loki snorted and hesitantly let Anthony go. 

 

“I won’t run away,” Anthony assured him with a smile and Loki felt his himself  _ melt _ at the sight. He was so weak for his human. 

 

He was weak for both of his humans, Loki realised when he sat down at the table and Rhodey actually served them steamed broccoli. Tears of laughter flowed down his face and he wiped them away with one hand, giggling even more. 

 

“This is hilarious,” he said in between his laughter, impaling a piece of broccoli on his fork. 

“I’m amazed Tony even has them in his fridge,” Rhodey replied and ate some of his broccoli. 

 

“It’s green.” 

 

Loki looked at Anthony, who shrugged and ate some of his vegetable. “What? You were the one who didn’t appear for two months straight, I had to get a substitute.” 

 

“And you think a vegetable is worthy of being my substitute?” Loki raised his brows amused. 

 

“Well, you kiss better than broccoli,” was Anthony’s reply to that. 

  
  


Loki brought up the serious topics over lunch by himself. He didn’t mind talking about the great purple being he had met all these years ago. Neither about what he was up to during his kingship and he loved to tell them the reason why he chose Rhodey for learning more about the Infinity Stones. 

 

It was simply because Yggdrasil chose him and Loki trusted the tree. 

 

“You know what?” Rhodes looked at them both after they were done. “I feel neglected and left out.”

 

“Aww, Platypus.” 

 

“Yes. You should make me feel better,” Rhodey babbled on and Loki could see the mischief gleam in his eyes. 

 

“I demand a hug!” 

 

“A hug?” Loki repeated amused. 

 

“Yes.” Rhodey nodded and stood up from the table. “With you and Tony.” 

 

“I think I can allow you to hug a god,” Loki replied haughtily and stood up as well. 

 

They moved in to hug and Loki  _ molt _ into it. He felt warm, appreciated here. 

 

“Thank you for healing my legs,” Rhodey sometimes mumbled in their hug. 

 

“No problem,” Loki replied and squeezed them both. “Thank you for keeping that idiot safe.” 

 

No one replied. 

 

Then: “Did you just call me idiot, you broccoli lover?”

 

Seemed like Anthony had caught on. 

 

And because he was Loki, he pinched Anthony in the arse. 

 

There were times he just really did what he wanted. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it ~  
>  _stares at the document_ huh.   
> Well, that was a blast to write xD 
> 
> Thank you for reading and commenting, and don't forget that broccoli has feelings as well :P <3
> 
>  
> 
> (Was that a weird end note?)
> 
> (It was) 
> 
> (Forgive me, it's 1am here)

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter is coming up next week :D


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